Loathe to Love You: A Novella Collection by Ali Hazelwood

 

Let me start by saying I went into this really wanting to like these stories. I was even in the mood for some novellas rather than committing to an entire book. While there were certainly things I did enjoy, especially in the last novella, Below Zero, each story was spoiled for me by the cringy intimacy scenes. And I do not mean in an awkward way because much of life's more intimate moments can be awkward. That is just realism and that is one aspect of Ali Hazelwood's writing I do appreciate. She embraces and in some cases celebrates the weirdness. What could be cooler? It is something else about those scenes, in particular that bothered me, which I will explain. 

***spoilers ahead.

I did enjoy getting to know each character. I was rooting for them all to see past their hang ups and being so introverted and to fall in love. I also really respect the concrpt of these stories: STEM career women, smart, all kinds of idiosyncrasies, trying to make a human connection or two. It is just so relatable. They feel like people I could really know. Particularly Hannah's character, in Below Zero, who has difficulty forming any relationship connections, not just romantic but even friendships. Hannah was intriguing and I wanted to learn her perspective and get to know her more. Speaking of feeling seen on the page, Hannah in particular is unlike most people traditionally in STEM careers, in that she has an atypical start full of academic failures before she finds her true calling and is driven to learn. I appreciated that as well. 

However, each story devolves into a trope that is wearing a bit thin for me. Tiny, petite women and men who are at least a foot taller, and bigger in all the ways than the women they are paired with. It becomes unseemly, to me, in the descriptors. 

A few quotes to illustrate:

Mara in Under One Roof, "I've never thought of myself as dainty, but somehow (his hand) manages to cover my entire torso." 

"Its just this side of too much," which I think is a line used in each story (cue eyeroll). 

Sadie in Stuck with You, who has already described herself as only 5' tall, on her first kiss with Erik, "If I want this kiss to happen, I'll need his cooperation. Or rock-climbing equipment....His hands close around my waist, lift me up and a second later I'm sitting on the shelf in the entrance." Really? She has to be the elf on the shelf for a kiss? Ew. 

Both Mara and Sadie, in the more spicy scenes, describing feeling "split in two." I am not going to touch that but just leave it for the reader’s judgement. I mean, to each their own I guess.

And not only are all the men very tall, with "colossal" hands and broad shoulders and the women are all small breasted, petite and svelte, each woman nearly describes a scene that could turn into Game of Thrones wedding night (not the Red Wedding, but the one with the sadist) if they were not actually consenting. Sadie goes into her first encounter with Erik joking to herself about how physically intimidating he is. And these are genius women? I am hearing alarm bells. This was what I least liked about the first 2 stories: these women put themselves it what could be harms way. It is not what I want to read about in a romance. 

At least in Below Zero, Hannah is in environment and position where she is calling the shots. Although I suppose it maybe goes a bit the other way. This poor man does not know what he is tangling with. It just is a side of edgy that seems a bit more at home on Mad Men or a really outdated 007 movie than in a more awake world in which we are checking that we have each others consent and trying to make safer choices. 

Even in Below Zero, which was my favorite of the 3 stories, again with the tiny, nearly child-like body frame and the giant man that envelopes her. It was all a bit much. Maybe I am just bitter about the 15-20 pounds I think I want to lose but cannot seem to stick to my Weight Watchers points for. Or maybe it is as gross at it reads.... Would love the reader’s thoughts in the comment section below.

All in all, I want to love Ms. Hazelwood's books and stories. Represent STEM!  Represent awkward! But what about body diversity? What about women who are not tiny? And what about women who do not want to be split in half? 

And most of all, there is spicy intimacy and then there is, "wait, WTF did she just write?" Maybe it is a fine line sometimes. I think I am going to go with loathe rather than love on this one though.